Archive for September, 2009

Here, there, and everywhere.

Monday, September 21st, 2009

I’m getting old. Stop the world I want to get off. Are we there yet? This isn’t fun anymore. Isn’t this show over YET?

I thought I wanted to stay until things really changed, you know, until the end of the Mayan calendar, until Time Wave Zero ends in December 2012, or thereabouts. But that’s just the same old line as always. I want to stay until I (insert way-marker here). Get laid. Am old enough to drink. Get my driver’s license. Meet the love of my life. Lose weight. Do Europe. See the world. Find God. Achieve world peace. It could be anything. And getting there is just as arbitrary as any other moment in life. I don’t think those moments—the ones we conventionally call significant—are necessarily mundane. It could be that all the mundane moments are actually just as magnificent as any one of our best moments.

I could do all those things, and a million more, and where would I be? Here. Sure, ‘here’ might be in a different country, and I might have different things, and be with different people. Maybe I’d even speak another language. But here is where I’d be, nonetheless.

Here is all there is. But, get the rope and suddenly everything becomes an unsustainable loss. Everywhere becomes a ‘here’ which I absolutely must visit before I dangle. And in that moment, ‘here’, the place where the rope is waiting, becomes nowhere, an inverted reality in which ‘here’ is utterly drained of magnificence, and everywhere else—every single other possible existence—becomes unspeakably glorious. Is it this awareness that the suicidal mind lacks?

So, some cheap tears are shed, and some trite trinket is snatched from the bargain bin of insight, and the rope gets put away. But the magnificence that returns to ‘here’ is never as magnificent as it was when it was ‘there’. In that dark limbo, standing on the chair with the rope, all the world, everywhere else but here, every single moment in every spot throughout all the whole fucking universe and beyond, all of it shone like a thousand Suns. And all of it was intricate beyond belief. And beautiful.

There is no ‘here’ in ‘nowhere’. Here is all there is.

Are we there yet?

Toys Over the Crib

Sunday, September 20th, 2009

This is an illusion.

Everything you see and hear are merely toys over the crib, maintained by some not-so-benevolent daddy, assisted by a subservient mommy, and passed off to us as all we need to know. There is an ever widening gap between what people perceive as their influence over their governments and what governments actually do. In fact, people have no influence over their governments, and probably haven’t had for a very long time, and governments have actively (though somewhat covertly) been engaged in acclimating people to the reality that they are completely out of the loop. Once the people accept it, then the governments—or rather the people manipulating the governments—can stop maintaining the facade, which I suspect occupies more of their time and energy than will ultimately be necessary.

This illusion has many layers, none of them real. As an illusion, it disguises itself as an illusion hiding a deeper reality, which is also an illusion. Beyond all of the layers to which we have relatively easy access—many of which we believe are the absolute truth—are threatening dark forms, vanishingly un-graspable, and visible only as a rumored suggestion in our minds. Some of them are real, and some of them are also manufactured illusions.

We are being prepared for the removal of all illusions. This takes some time. To say that beyond the illusions it is not a pretty sight is a childish oversimplification. The revelation of what is hidden will be a dimensional shift, an expansion of those dimensions within which we have always perceived everything. The trauma of that transition will be greater than merely physical. and I suspect that many will not survive. There is nothing which leads me to believe these transitions harbor any compassion whatsoever.

The quality of light

Thursday, September 3rd, 2009

The truth is that I have never been isolated, either from others or from ‘the self.’ The truth may be that my earliest experiences were too intense, too rich, too extreme, and too early in life to ever be repeated. As a reuslt, my life since those early intensities pales in comparison, leaving the impression of disconectedness, muffled sound and muted light.

Standing in the quiet fog…