Archive for April, 2009

Lesbian in Amherst

Sunday, April 26th, 2009

Well, I have once again overcome the sensible urgings of the sleeping pills I took several hours ago.

“There is nothing to say.” That’s a blatant lie. “There’s a book in me.” So’s that. “I’d rather sleep than eat.” That’s closer to true, at least right now because I’m stuffed.

Time to redesign. A simple plan, one that offers one post per page, like My First Site. Delving into this should not start at 4:00 AM, so all I’ll do now is talk about it.

I picked up my bag full of miracles the other night, and I told the pharmacist when he asked if my address was the same, “It’ll be famous someday because I lived there.” Right, I’ll be like a lesbian in Amherst, and they’ll be traipsing in and out of my worn wood room, like Emily’s.

It’s sad when the best use of time is sleep. Sadder still when light is no reason to rise. And perhaps there is nothing sadder than waiting for the light before I lay me down to sleep.

I hate people. I love people only from afar, as the Polar Bears do, who see beyond their own extinction, from an in-extinctable perspective, to places we refuse to see. They don’t resent us. They are free of hate. They know we hate ourselves enough to make up for it.

I never read; I feel guilty for it. Like not reading is the root of all evil. Like reading cures. Maybe if I’d read three books a week, I could have been a writer.

Read exliontamer.