joe.

I went to bed just before dawn this morning.

Later, I dreamt I did something like a vacation–during my vacation. At first, I was skiing, a kind of very short, very steep hill, over and over again. Then I switched to a sort of water park. I was part of a group, like a few friends. I had my camera, and I went into the wave attraction, a kind of downhill alleyway and they generated a big wall of water uphill from the people, and it crashed down on them and everybody screamed and splashed. Somehow they could make the water drain away instantly, and in my dream, they were not operating it properly. I had positioned myself at the end of the alley so I could get photos of people being overwhelmed by the waves. But the waves all dissipated before anyone got really wet. Plus my camera started malfunctioning, not focusing, and the shutter not working.

It all became so frustrating, I woke up. At around 4:00 PM.

Yesterday, I left the house briefly. But pretty quickly I started having that ‘focal seizure’ activity in which lights, and sensory input in general, becomes very irritating, and I start feeling very unstable. Sometimes I can endure the instability, and avoid having a seizure by blocking out stimuli. Sometimes I can’t. So I came home.

Right now I have to decide whether I will go to the pharmacy or not. And then to the supermarket. But sitting home doing almost nothing seems to be all I can manage right now. This is the way it goes with me and seizures; I go through some periods lasting several weeks of being profoundly unstable. Then I go a year or two being fine.

I guess I have a life. It’s just not exactly the one I want.

These are the links to the latest movies derived from each cam’s images:
usbclip.avi
dscclip.avi

I am still working out how each one is triggered, but the idea is that a movie is uploaded everytime movement stops for 10 seconds or more. We’ll see how it works.

I will leave the images below live for now, but the focal seizure activity has subsided (with the Ativan) and relative tranquility prevails in my brain right now. Will sleep soon.

If you see me laying on the floor for a long time, call Lynne (she has a copy of my keys.) But I think I will be fine tonight. Thanks.

Presiezure activity starting late afternoon after putting leftovers into stove to heat up.

Finally, to abort, or to at least ameliorate a potential seizure,
at 6:59 PM I take 2 tabs, 1.0 mg each, of Ativan.

Only mild relief as of 7:40 PM. Add another 1.0 mg Ativan.

At 8:00 PM feel stable enough to nibble at supper which was heating, stove is now off. No more coffee. (4-5 cups since 1:00 PM; normal amount for me.)

9:03 PM: Set up web cams live in spots where I should be visible.

Live seizure cam

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