Monthly Archives: May 2009

Real

I took a picture of my belly. Now I have thought—for the longest time, it seems—that my fattness is a recent development.  You know, one of those vague assumptions you make about reality that is far from it.  Like the … Continue reading

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Write a little every day

Why? I am considering taking a photo of everything I eat. Kind of a phood-o-log. Maybe it will embarass me into dieting, or maybe it will escalate my self-contempt to a satisfying crescendo. What else would I do? I’m a … Continue reading

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I live in Massachusetts

California Supreme Court upholds Prop 8 I don’t know what to say, it’s all too painful to talk about. Besides, Keith Olbermann said it better than I could back in November. Thank you, California, and your people, your court, your … Continue reading

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CouchFearing

Writing is bad. Doing is good. Nov. 15, 1999 I write. Somebody I know is CouchSurfing, so I visited the site. You know, there are two things; one is living, and the other is being alive. I do the latter, … Continue reading

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confession

Forgive me father (or mother, or brother, or sister, or friend, or would-be lover, or co-worker, or stranger) for I have sinned. It has been twelve lifetimes since my last confession. Dreaming last night; too much coffee too late. Old … Continue reading

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echoes

I’ve been rereading. Rereading me. Is that like masturbation? Or is it bad? 31 Jul 2004 15 Jan 2005 04 Apr 2005 07 Jul 2005 If I had it all organized better, not just included in my sequential archive (which … Continue reading

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On the Road to Find Out

My last day off. This was an abbreviated vacay, sort of. Someone else would have planned a trip, or arranged a get-together of friends. I isolated, and broke a lens. But it is not the way you think. Isolating appears … Continue reading

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fruit

Settled in at the new web host. Still not sure about the move. It’s like moving to a new apartment—it forces you to review all the accumulated clutter. Of course, in the decidedly un-methodical way in which I conducted the … Continue reading

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just want to cry

Changing web hosts (if anyone even knows what that means any more) is tedious, especially under duress. My web host provides a machine somewhere, connected to the internet, which contains the virtual space in which burgwinkel.com exists and shares itself … Continue reading

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A title would go here, but I am sick of trying to title these entries that are shorter than most titles would be. So there.

I love this cool and cloudy weather. They are not dark clouds, but bright variations of grey, grey-blue and antique white. The world is not shadowy beneath them, just evenly illuminated. Maybe it is the photographer in me that appreciates … Continue reading

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Fickle.

Got a half hour to kill. Write a little bit everyday. Went to the bank to get quarters for laundry. It was waiting in two wet piles in the basement since last night. Drying now. There were no gunmen at … Continue reading

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Numinous awe

Everything is happening exactly as it is supposed to. My tendency has always been to diminish pain, to dissociate from intense experience, and to avert my eyes from the light. Possibly I learned to not trust my capacity for reality. … Continue reading

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Summer soon

The beautiful Summer is coming. The giant elder outside my kitchen window has been in bloom for a week now, dropping delicate white petals like spring snow all over the back yard. Soon the best of the boys will strut … Continue reading

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3:06:22 PM

Late as late can be. Still lame. Stood-up Stephanie, one of my surrogate mothers, her kids had a soirée for her at the Sole Proprietor. Nasty headache. I don’t like family affairs. It’s why I don’t have any contact with … Continue reading

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monolith falling

Lame. I am afraid that is what my life will be. I am scurrying around trying to slip out from beneath the falling mantle of lameness, trying to keep track of the edges of its shadow so I’ll know which … Continue reading

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