Unaddressed rage. Like anthrax–U.S. Military grade anthrax–in an envelope not addressed to a Senator, or to anyone else. Concentrated lethality with nowhere to go. So it just sits inside.
Most people suck. They smile at you, maybe they even like you. They are easy and jovial most times–until you piss them off. And pissing people off is inevitable, even pissing-off people who don’t suck. Can’t be avoided.
A few can be trusted. Most can’t. Most people suck. And when you piss them off, they look at you with daggers, they spray you with contempt, and sometimes they get vengeful. And if they have clout, and you don’t, then you get beaten. The few words they might bother thmeselves to dedicate to you will be disparaging words, an expression of distaste, or maybe rather than elevate you to a place in their vocabulary, they will simply dispose of you in a mere gesture of disgust.
Most people suck, and I pissed-off one of those people tonight, at work.
I should be …mmm, I don’t know… kinda happy, I would guess. But I am not. And it wasn’t even out of vengeance that I did it. I pissed her off inadvertantly, really, simply because I was trying to do what was right. And I guess that pisses them off most of all; pissing them off when you’re not even trying to. They hate that.
They tolerate a lot from me, but I tolerate a lot more from them. I should just get a new job, just back up and dump them over the edge of that memory-pile of things I have lost. But it feels like too much effort, and I am just too lazy and depressed. And it all just stays the same if nobody wants to be bothered changing the world. It’s a dead letter.
I have to say that I think I might be one of those people that suck. But I feel justified in my anger. Perhaps it was socratic irony. I don’t know.
I suppose I should just let it go.
Oh well, you hit home.