Starting the last half.
50. I stay until the credits finish rolling.
51. I cried after Men In Black.
52. I recently saw "Life is beautiful" and it is haunting me.
53. I can't pay my bills and my rent.
54. Once in a while, I wake up 'foggy,' unable to concentrate or even think straight for ten whole seconds together. This indicates I am going to have a seizure; in fact it is the effect of 'partial seizures' which are the beginning of a generalized seizure before it has spread throughout my brain. If my thoughts are coherent enough, I can at this point take 3 mg of Ativan, and sleep for eighteen hours. Somehow this prevents me from having a seizure, but it still costs a whole day. I woke up that way this morning.
55. I do not want a lingering death. But I believe that within the transition from the temporal to the metaphysical, though it may count from our perspective as only a minute or two, it may contain days, months, or even lifetimes of suffering. I think it is funny how we use the phrase, 'Better off dead,' when we really have no idea.
56. I am not sure, but I suppose human culture has improved since the Crusades. I know Humanity has not.
57. I like the sky to be gray and overcast, and and the ground to be white and snowy. Everyone's mood descends closer to the mood I live in always, and I don't feel so all alone. Blizzards are good.
58. When I first get out of bed, I pee sitting down. It relieves the need to aim.
59. There is no such thing as a lone gunman in a political assassination.