Already time for bed, again. 

Why does this always happen?  Another day is gone, and I'm just getting here.

Anyway, I told my boss today to take her bonus and stick it.  She wanted to give fifty bucks each to me and three others who came in on almost no notice to do overtime this week because somebody quit unexpectedly.  It went like this:  Unsmiling, she solemnly called me into her office.  Her face betrayed nary a hint of good nor bad—well, maybe a hint of bad.  She closed the door, and whispered conspiratorily, "We're giving this to the four who came in to do overtime."  She produced a folded fifty in my direction.  As I took it she said, "But you can't tell anybody, because we can't give it to everyone." 

"I won't do that.  Keeping secrets breeds suspicion and distrust; it's not worth fifty bucks for me to do that.  I won't do it for any amount of money."  She snatched it back. 

"Well," she said petulantly, "then don't take it."

"OK," I said, "Thanks for the thought."  I really kinda meant that.  She glared as I left.

Had I not been exposed in the past to their breathtakingly insulting and demeaning behavior, I—stunned—probably would have walked away with the bill, and despite later misgivings, never returned it.  But I have had practice with the fifty dollar bill at the place where I work.  And the last time it happened, I swore it would never happen again. 

Either give it to me, or don't.  Either be grateful, or be not grateful.  But spare me your disingenuous gratitude, and keep your strings-attached bribes that you call generosity.  If it's not above-board, it's not a bonus—it's a liability.