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| A Palestinian confronts an Israeli soldier as Palestinian property, reportedly set fire by Israeli settlers, burns nearby | |
just wondering if the same arch-conservatives, as in the tradition of the sleazy 1980 Reagan transition, aren't currently engineering some of the disruptions on foreign soil—like President Kabila's assassination in the Congo(1), or several diplomatically divisive murders in the Middle East(2)(3)(4)—to help divert attention from the velvet coup ongoing here. I mean, how can they resist; these are bright men with dark souls. Whipping-up a little American angst and hand-wringing by creating a few International crises, is a piece of cake for these guys. And there is nothing like a crisis overseas to make Americans line-up behind der Fuhrer, Bush.
Not to mention that the lawyers defending the Lockerbie terrorists abruptly ended the defense's case just ten days ago, when Syria failed to tender documents which were apparently essential to the defense—perhaps acquiescing to possible requests from the U.S. government's incoming administration, perhaps after certain 'assurances'. (Assuming that there was even the slightest chance of a politically inexpedient not-guilty verdict issuing in the first place—political inexpediencies are never tolerated when the dark souls of U.S. government are in charge). And all of it just in time to scent the air of Inauguration Day with American moral righteousness.
I'm gonna fucking puke.
i vacillate from suicidal musings to stirring hopes, like Bach sweeps from fragile pianissimos to thundering passages of orchestral power. Where is the line that separates giving-up from conformance? How do you accept things the way they are, and work to change them, when 'the way things are' by definition invalidates any practical potential for change? I am hopeless; that any government will be what it claims, that any political 'movement' will arrive at its promise, that every authority sooner or later will be corrupt, that every faith I place outside myself and every confidence I place in another will be betrayed, and that no place either inside or outside of my own heart will ever be home. I am terrified; that I have no job, that by this time tomorrow I will be on a bus among strangers going to Washington (if I don't chicken-out), that throughout my life I have consistently chosen to hide and not live, that if I don't wake-up I will die, and that I feel an overwhelming urge to sleep and pretend there is nothing wrong with the world.
I guess it is just one of those days. I'm going to get a pizza; maybe a little over-eating—or something—will help. (That soldier is hot.)
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