He considered new beginnings more than usual, but without starting any, like usual.
secret dancing. Obvious secrets. Invisible contortions. Broken sauce. A coward's game. Motes of doubt. A conditional escape. Noting now. Facing page. Creep away unnoticed. Pink eye (the observations of a queer). Kiss my lips. No way back. Suck my dick.
He never felt like he fit in, though he pretended (to fit in) amazingly well.
These are my 'brain-dump' of possible new names for this site, to accompany its redesign. None of these will do (except maybe that last one), but hopefully, dumping them here will cause a suction of thought, thus drawing to the surface, like venom, a suitable phrase for the masthead.
Think about this... From the book
Dancing Naked in the Mind Field, by Nobel laureate Kary Mullis.
The C.D.C. has defined AIDS as one of more than 30 diseases accompanied by a positive result on a test that detects antibodies to H.I.V. But those same diseases are not defined as AIDS cases when the antibodies are not detected. If an H.I.V.-positive woman develops uterine cancer, for example, she is considered to have AIDS. If she is not H.I.V.-positive, she simply has uterine cancer. An H.I.V.-positive man with tuberculosis has AIDS; if he tests negative he simply has tuberculosis. If he lives in Kenya or Colombia, where the test for H.I.V. antibodies is too expensive, he is simply presumed to have the antibodies and therefore AIDS, and therefore he can be treated in the World Health Organization's clinic. It's the only medical help available in some places. And it's free, because the countries that support WHO are worried about AIDS. From the point of view of spreading medical facilities into areas where poor people live, AIDS has been a boon. We don't poison them with A.Z.T. like we do our own people because it's too expensive. We supply dressing for the machete cut on their left knee and call it AIDS.
The C.D.C. continues to add new diseases to the grand AIDS definition. The C.D.C. has virtually doctored the books to make it appear as if the disease continues to spread. In 1993, for example, the C.D.C. enormously broadened its AIDS definition. This was happily accepted by county health authorities, who receive $2,500 from the feds per year under the Ryan White Act for every reported AIDS case.
He was straddling a gap between conventional illusion and real truth, and the more he opened his eyes the wider that gap became.
Who reads what counts? The uncomforting truth is shunned, by chilling numbers, in favor of 'received wisdom'. Critical thinking—a phrase fast approaching qualification as an oxymoron—is not thinking critically much at all, and instead is more like the primitive nipple-response of opening wide with eyes shut in acceptance of whatever mommie offers. Only, today, the nipple offered is not mommie's but more often belongs to a morally impoverished ideology (screaming loudly about morals), promoting a rampantly self-serving public policy (claiming altruism), and desperately seeking 'legitimacy' by offering free suckle to any who will join and forfeit reasoned thought in favor of the party line.
His stance became untenable.
I am posting this because I don't know what else to do with it. So far, I have wasted 2 days. That's enough.
|
|
updated
|
