\n50. I stay until the credits finish rolling.
\n
\n51. I cried after Men In Black.
\n
\n52. I recently saw “Life is beautiful” and it is haunting me.
\n
\n53. I can’t pay my bills
and<\/i> my rent.
\n
\n54. Once in a while, I wake up ‘foggy,’ unable to concentrate or even think straight for ten whole seconds together. This indicates I am going to have a seizure; in fact it is the effect of ‘partial seizures’ which are the beginning of a generalized seizure before it has spread throughout my brain. If my thoughts are coherent enough, I can at this point take 3 mg of Ativan, and sleep for eighteen hours. Somehow this prevents me from having a seizure, but it still costs a whole day. I woke up that way this morning.
\n
\n55. I do not want a lingering death. But I believe that within the transition from the temporal to the metaphysical, though it may count from our perspective as only a minute or two, it may contain days, months, or even lifetimes of suffering. I think it is funny how we use the phrase, ‘Better off dead,’ when we really have no idea.
\n
\n56. I am not sure, but I suppose human culture has improved since the Crusades. I know Humanity has not.
\n
\n57. I like the sky to be gray and overcast, and and the ground to be white and snowy. Everyone’s mood descends closer to the mood I live in always, and I don’t feel so all alone. Blizzards are good.
\n
\n58. When I first get out of bed, I pee sitting down. It relieves the need to aim.
\n
\n59. There is no such thing as a lone gunman in a political assassination.\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Starting the last half. 50. I stay until the credits finish rolling. 51. I cried after Men In Black. 52. I recently saw “Life is beautiful” and it is haunting me. 53. I can’t pay my bills and my rent. … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-257","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/burgwinkel.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/257","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/burgwinkel.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/burgwinkel.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/burgwinkel.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/burgwinkel.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=257"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/burgwinkel.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/257\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/burgwinkel.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=257"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/burgwinkel.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=257"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/burgwinkel.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=257"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}