\nTriple Self Portrait Norman Rockwell’, HEIGHT, 15, LEFT, BELOW);”>
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<\/a><\/p>\nWhile I was away, I rediscovered my apartment. It was a mess. I vaccuumed up the biggest piles of dirt, washed and scraped surfaces of ancient dust — some of it had nearly fossilized — and rearranged my living space around my tiny, one-person dining table, leaving the desk with its dark monitor like a relic of another time. I started showing up at work much nearer to on-time than ever before. I started spending quiet, no-stress time reading National Geographic before bed. I re-employed my stereo system as a tuner — rather than as a sound system for Winamp — and I listened to NPR<\/a> and the BBC’s The World Today<\/a>, finding the former almost as disappointing as I feared, while discovering that the latter is far better than I had expected. I began to spend more time bathing and shaving and brushing my teeth. I started buying fresh vegetables. I did laundry, and folded it and put it away, all in the same day. I cleaned the bathroom. <\/p>\n “A well spent day brings happy sleep…”. I spent last night here, in front of this computer, indulging my addiction. I went to bed at 8:00 AM this morning. The first day I got this system (it is a new one, the old one is as yet irreparable) I was reluctant to resume my obsession. I didn’t write anything here for nearly a week. I have always known there was something beyond the monitor — mostly I have know that with fear and I immersed myself in this pool of light, hiding. Now, I am newly curious of the unilluminated life behind the monitor, having returned to it briefly. And now when I am in front of this monitor, I find myself leaning to the side and peering around it like Norman Rockwell peers out from behind his easel in one of his self-portraits. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It is all such a difficult endeavor for me. I don’t want to be bothered explaining, or complaining; I don’t want to be bothered trying to tell some convoluted story (a true story) of unimportant detail which I pretend will, … Continue reading