{"id":21,"date":"2007-01-24T02:44:58","date_gmt":"2007-01-24T07:44:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/burgwinkel.com\/blog\/?p=21"},"modified":"2008-07-22T04:06:37","modified_gmt":"2008-07-22T08:06:37","slug":"of-bike-rides-and-bad-jobs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/burgwinkel.com\/blog\/?p=21","title":{"rendered":"Of bike rides, and bad jobs"},"content":{"rendered":"

Been wasting my life playing around at flickr<\/a>. Between that and watching old documentaries that I download, I manage to stay up all night on my nights off, sleeping completely through my days off. <\/p>\n

\nBut I have to be at work tomorrow at 8:00 AM. It is now 2:00 AM. <\/p>\n

\nI have six hours left of 2 days off. During this time I haven’t bought milk which I have needed–I’m putting old eggnog in my coffee. I haven’t bought bread, which I have also been out of. I haven’t written the letter of reference which my friend needs me to send to her potential college by February 1. This means I have to do it tomorrow night, or Thursday night–or more than likely, on both<\/em> nights because I am a perfectionist–in order to send it in the mail on Friday. <\/p>\n

\nDuring both days off, I have not been outside in sunlight at all; in fact I haven’t even been awake during sunlight for more than two hours total during both days off. Now that I think about it, I have avoided all<\/em> face to face contact with people, and most of any other kind of contact as well. \"aloner\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\n…<\/p>\n

\nIf, instead of getting up to go to work every day, I were riding my bike on a long journey<\/a> (which I did once), then I would know what to do and when to do it. The ‘how’ of it I would figure out. I did, once. Actually, much more than once. <\/p>\n

\nEngaged in the journey, I would have no qualms, no internal conflicts about my occupation, as I do now. I would, as I once did, face fears and challenges with aplomb. Now I respond to tedious fears and drudging challenges with sprays of venom in all directions; these days, I harbor a contempt for everything and it oozes from me like paint-stripping jelly onto every encounter I have. <\/p>\n

\nI once knew the joy of every human encounter, every chance meeting on the bike road or the hiking trail. However, I have allowed this job, like a chafing shoe, to build callouses on me which now allow me to remain isolated amid the crowd; by the stagnation of these days, I have grown giant ugly scabs which rebuff those who would approach me without me ever needing to engage them. <\/p>\n

\nI am missing something, and I do not know quite what it is. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Been wasting my life playing around at flickr. Between that and watching old documentaries that I download, I manage to stay up all night on my nights off, sleeping completely through my days off. But I have to be at … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[924,50],"class_list":["post-21","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-i-harbor","tag-paint-stripping-jelly"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/burgwinkel.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/burgwinkel.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/burgwinkel.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/burgwinkel.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/burgwinkel.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=21"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/burgwinkel.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/burgwinkel.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=21"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/burgwinkel.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=21"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/burgwinkel.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=21"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}