April 21, 2002
Dear Diary,

Hi. 

Hello.  So, you're going back to work today?

Yup.  It's hard to go back, after so many days off, but it's only for today.  Then I work Tuesday and I'm off again Wednesday.

They'll want you to work OT on those days off.  Everybody is sick, the place is falling apart...

No.  I'll Just say no.  I may be going back, but I am still sick.  Hell, I was wheezing and gurgling and coughing constantly; I couldn't even breath enough to keep my lips from turning blue two days ago.

You thought you were going to die, didn't you. 

Yah.

You're still scared of it, dying I mean.

Hell, I could die any minute.  I just don't want to die not being able to breathe.

You just don't want to die.  And it's not because you want to live, it's because you're scared to die.

Well, ...yah.

Work on that.  It's no way to live life.

Yah, I know.  Hey thanks, I gotta go.  See ya,
joe.